


the monsters turned out to be just trees

by Directionless_Foray



Series: fire and the flood [4]
Category: Tennis RPF
Genre: Angst, Flashbacks, M/M, Time Skips, read the author's note re: timeline
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-01
Updated: 2020-02-08
Packaged: 2021-02-26 10:21:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,702
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22503034
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Directionless_Foray/pseuds/Directionless_Foray
Summary: Listen.Alex isn't trying to be difficult.Okay?Let's get that straight.Because Alex isn't trying to be difficult-But, well.It doesn't seem fair that Nick gets to be weird and evasive about keeping their relationship private but also gets to be jealous when someone hits on Alex.He's just saying.
Relationships: Alex de Minaur/Nick Kyrgios
Series: fire and the flood [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1612984
Comments: 8
Kudos: 28





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> the time jumps are a bit trippy here
> 
> the first 'part' takes place in the 'present' and then every second part after that follows the present chronologically. the time skips in between the 'present' timeline are flashbacks.
> 
> basically, it goes: present, flashback, present, flashback etc 
> 
> title from Taylor Swift's 'Out of The Woods'

Listen.

Alex isn't _trying_ to be difficult.

Okay?

Let's get that straight.

Because Alex isn't _trying _to be difficult-

But, well.

It doesn't seem fair that Nick gets to be weird and evasive about keeping their relationship private but also gets to be jealous when someone hits on Alex.

He's just saying.

It-

It doesn't seem very fair.

And-

And the worst part is.

Alex didn't even _want_ to go out to the club.

_He_ was the one who suggested they have a quiet night in.

To which Nick gave _him_ a Look.

Which.

Okay.

Yeah.

That was fair.

Because-

Alex is twenty but occasionally he'll say shit that wouldn't sound out of place coming from an eighty-year-old grandpa.

So Nick gave him a Look and twenty minutes later, Alex was dressed in a pair of jeans he forgot he had packed and one of Nick's tie-dye t-shirts.

He was practically swimming in the multi-coloured fabric that smelled like Nick's cologne. 

Though-

Though, Nick had looked approving so Alex didn't put up much of a fight.

Less than two hours later they were in the club and Alex was sitting awkwardly on a tall barstool whilst watching Nick dance with a tall, leggy blonde woman.

The group they had come with were scattered around the club in varying states of inebriation.

Alex had just sighed and took another sip of his overpriced beer.

He never would have guessed that less than ten minutes later a man would be sliding onto one of the vacant stools and unraveling almost five months worth of tentative progress in his and Nick's relationship?

Hindsight and twenty-twenty vision and all that.

-

Maybe-

Maybe the worst part is-

Is actually that Alex never even _brought it up_.

He just presumed, _y'know_, two promising young Australian tennis players... A media landscape that can be described as _enthusiastically rabid _at best...

So yeah.

Alex just presumed they weren't going to be super _in your face_ about it all.

So yeah.

He didn't plan on bringing it up this early on.

Only-

Only, one night, as they're watching television in a hotel room in yet another city they barely know.

(FRIENDS this time.)

Actually, more accurately, they're lying on Alex's hotel bed and _not_ reading the English subtitles to the Spanish dubbing to a random episode of FRIENDS because they're just too tired.

Too exhausted to read the stupid little words on the bottom of the screen and too exhausted to turn off the tv.

So they're lying on Alex's hotel bed in another city they barely know, with the Spanish dubbing of an old FRIENDS episode playing softly in the background like elevator music when-

When Nick turns to Alex and solemnly says, "hey, just- just- we're keeping this on the down-low, right? Like we're not telling anyone about us, yeah?"

And-

_Okay. _

In Nick's defence, Alex is mostly _fine _with that. Probably prefers a bit of privacy if he's being honest.

But.

But the way Nick says it.

Like he's genuinely worried about people learning about them.

And _yeah._

_Alex knows_.

They're arguably two of the most promising Australian tennis players and the sports media's relationship with LGBTQ+ issues is a reluctant _wilful blindness_ at best.

Alex _knows_.

But.

Deep down a part of him hates how the first time they're talking about it, Nick is grave and makes it sound like a gun is being held to his head.

"Yeah," Alex feels numb, "yeah."

He's read about people who have survived atomic bombs. How the moment of explosion sounds like a _noiseless flash_. A deafening explosion of silence.

_Yeah._

He gets it now.

An explosion of silence.

That's how Alex feels.

"Yeah, sure," he says faintly.

Nick is watching him, brow furrowed because Nick isn't dumb either.

He knows something is bothering Alex.

But they're just _so tired_.

And Alex is drowning in all the silence.

The loudness of it all.

So Alex doesn't blame Nick when he drops it.

-

"_Je t’ai jamais vu avant. Tu viens souvent par ici?_" the man asks at first.

Voice somehow carrying over the thudding bass of the club's music.

"Um," Alex looks up from his almost untouched beer, "I don't um- I don't- _parlez- parlez vous_ English?"

The man smiles a little. His eyes are green.

"Hello, what are you doing here on your own?" the man asks again in accented English.

"Oh, um," Alex breathes a sigh of relief. "I'm just here with some- some of my friends."

The man's proficiency in English momentarily distracts him from the fact that-

That when a handsome man approaches you in a club and asks what you're _doing here on your own_...

Well-

It normally means they're trying to flirt with you.

The man laughs and pretends to look around, "they are not here now, no? They have abandoned you," he teases.

Over the man's shoulder, Nick is laughing as another woman plasters herself enthusiastically all across his front, Alex huffs, "yeah, yeah I guess I have."

"My name is Joseph," the man introduces himself.

He extends a hand.

Alex accepts it.

"Alex," he offers his own name.

Alex startles as Joseph bends over to press a kiss to the back of his hand because-

Um.

_What_.

Joseph looks up and grins cheekily.

Alex laughs properly then.

"Wow, okay then," he chokes out in between laughter.

He doesn't see Nick look across from the dancefloor.

Doesn't see his frown.

The way he distractedly extricates himself from the lady pawing at his front away.

Rudely removing her hands from his shoulders.

The way his expression turns stormy. 

Alex does, however, hear the sound of him storming out of the club.

The way he angrily pushes his way through the heaving mass on the dancefloor and-

Alex watches the entire thing and he kind of feels like storming off himself.

In the opposite direction of course.

He inadvertently makes eye contact with John.

John who is leaning up against the bar, waiting for a drink. Twisting around slightly to locate the source of the commotion.

John meets Alex's eyes and raises a brow in a silent, _oh?_

Alex ducks his head down.

His expression must give him away though.

Because-

A few moments later John's voice asks, "hi, can I have a moment with my friend?"

Tone light and friendly.

A skillful waltz.

Joseph's gaze flicks over Alex's face.

Must see the poorly disguised distress on his face and cocks his head.

"Please," Alex asks quietly.

"Ok, you can come find me later if you want," he says simply as he slides off the seat and disappears into the crowd.

John assumes his vacated seat and takes a slow sip of his drink.

It's bright green and Alex swears if John ordered an _appletini_ he's going to just up and leave.

"So," he says, "care to share what that was all about?"

"I don't know what you're talking about," Alex mutters.

_"Mmh,"_ John hums noncommittally.

Alex picks stubbornly at the damp coaster his beer is sitting on.

The cheap cardboard is starting to pucker and disintegrate.

Alex scratches random shapes on the surface.

"Just-" John starts.

Alex looks up warily.

John smiles and it's a kind smile, he tries again, "just in case you were wondering," he pushes his drink to the side so he can lean in a little closer, "most of the boys have figured out that you and Nick finally figured your shit out together," he says gently.

Alex's eyes widen.

Panic claws at his throat. 

"I mean, I respect the fact that you guys seem to have decided you don't want to talk about it or whatever," he continues, "but," a bemused smile, "but maybe don't spend most nights in each other's hotel rooms and then practically every other waking hour with each other, if that's what you're trying to achieve."

"I-" Alex stops. "Fuck," his head drops into his hands, _"fuck." _

"Alex-"

_"Everyone_ knows?" Alex interrupts.

There's blood pounding in his ears.

_Fuck. Fuck. Fuck._

When he looks up, John has a thoughtful expression on his face, "... I think most of our guys know," his tone is measured and he takes a sip of his violently green drink. "But it's not like we get together specifically to talk about it or anything," he snorts before taking another sip.

Alex is almost certain that it is indeed an appletini that John is drinking.

"I don't think Lleyton knows," John adds.

"_Fuck_," Alex sighs in relief.

John is still watching him with that warm expression, the one that makes Alex feel thirteen again.

"I think Jordan followed Nick out when he was having his little hissy fit," John shrugs, "he's probably out there right now but-" his eyes are twinkling a little, "but if you ask me? I think Nick probably wants to see you more than Jordan's ugly mug right now."

-

And it's not like it bothers him.

At least Alex tries to tell himself that.

That it doesn't bother him.

How Nick seemingly doesn't want anyone to know about them.

About him and Alex.

Because.

Objectively.

Objectively, Alex knows that it doesn't really have anything to do with himself.

It's not about Alex.

It's about the _everything else_.

The negative space that is filled by the media, the rest of the tour, and probably a fair bit of Nick's own shit.

All of _that_ stuff.

Which is why Alex hasn't even told his parents even though he's pretty sure they _suspect_ and that their suspicions aren't terribly far off the reality.

Which is why Nick still laughs and plays along when Sascha jokes about setting Nick up with a friend of his.

Which is why Nick still sometimes freezes when people joke about how close he and Alex have grown.

The warning signals should all be going off.

Screaming at Alex to abandon ship.

To get out while he can.

Before he gets burnt.

But-

But Nick spends almost every single night tangled in Alex's sheets with him.

But Nick uses his arms to bracket around Alex's body like he feels a need to _protect _him.

But Nick has come with Alex to almost every physio appointment since that first one. 

But Nick looks at Alex like some sort of marvel of the universe.

So Alex is in a bit of a pickle.

Because.

Well.

See-

Long story short?

There's this boy Alex really likes.

But he thinks this boy is afraid of the world more than he likes Alex back.

-

"Dude, why are you doing this?" Alex can make out Jordan's concerned question as he approaches them.

The sound of their hushed voices bouncing around in the empty alley.

The alley they've tucked themselves into.

Nick mumbles something that Alex can't make out that makes Jordan sigh heavily.

"That's fucking garbage, you idiot," Jordan whispers.

"_Leave me alone_," Nick hisses. Shoulders hunching over. 

Alex's chest hurts from the pain he's trained his ears to pick out from underneath the venom.

Threads of hurt buried underneath this rich embroidery-

This richly patterned thundercloud that is Nick Kyrgios.

Jordan snorts, clearly seeing through Nick as well, "no fucking way, not until you tell me why you fucking lost it in there."

"It doesn't matter-"

"Fuck off, Nick, don't give me that bullshit."

"It doesn't-"

"I think it might matter," Alex interrupts softly.

A pause. 

Jordan at least looks relieved to see Alex.

Nick?

Not so much.

His expression shutters and Alex _hurts_.

"I'll take it from here," Alex murmurs to Jordan.

Jordan nods gratefully and claps Nick on the back before darting back inside.

-

Alex is helping his mother fold clothes when she brings it up.

Alex reaches for a plain white t-shirt.

First.

Fold in the sleeves.

Next.

Fold in half across the mid-

"So," his mother begins conversationally, "Nick?"

And Alex's brain short circuits.

"_What_?" he croaks.

She continues folding a navy skirt, "you and Nick?" she asks.

Unperturbed.

"Um," Alex can feel himself starting to sweat, "what's the question?"

"_Mm_," she places the folded skirt to the side, "yes," he expression is unreadable, "what is the question, indeed."

"I-I," Alex doesn't know how to dig himself out of this hole, "he- Nick, we- I," he stutters.

His mother just-

Just continues folding her clothes calmly.

Straightening a stack of folded t-shirts.

"He- I-, I really- we're just- I-" Alex sighs and shuts his mouth with an audible snap.

Gives up.

There's nothing to say.

Nothing he _can_ say.

He just sighs and resumes folding clothes as well.

A few moments later.

"He's very handsome," she comments casually.

"_Mum_," Alex gasps. 

"And he clearly likes _you_ very much," she adds, ignoring the way Alex's face reddens incriminatingly, "he puts his hands on you more than enough to prove that," Alex hears her mutter under her breath.

"_Mum_," he hisses.

She snorts.

A beat.

Alex stares down at the mismatched socks clutched in his hands.

He bites his lip.

"I really like him too," he says quietly.

It's the most he'll allow.

He's probably already pushing it as is.

_"Mm,"_ she hums, "that is very clear too," she remarks slyly.

Alex groans.

His mother just laughs her tinkling laugh. She takes the socks off his hands passes him a pair of his chinos.

-

It's just him and Nick in the alley now. 

"What the fuck happened back there?" Alex asks plainly.

"Should ask you the same thing," Nick bites back.

He's advancing on Alex.

Eyes dark

Trying to use his height over Alex to intimidate him.

To get Alex to stop digging.

_Nice try._

Alex can read between the lines.

Can read _Nick._

And Nick?

Nick is frightened.

Alex cocks his head.

"What do you-"

"That guy was all over you," Nick spits.

His eyes are wild though. Nervous.

_Frightened._

"What about the girls who were all over _you_?" Alex stands his ground and stares Nick straight in the eye.

Nick flinches a little.

"It wasn't- it-"

"Explain to me how it wasn't exactly what it looked like," Alex asks bluntly.

Nick is shaking his head.

"It-"

"Because I'll tell you what it looked like to me," Alex doesn't know where this is all coming from but far be it for him to stand in the way of this torrent of pent up hurt, "it looked like you were flirting with every girl within a ten-mile radius, it looked like you forgot all about me-"

Nick's head whips around. He looks shocked at the suggestion. 

"It doesn't mean anything- I would never-"

"Really? Explain exactly why I should believe you when you're fucking letting anyone put their hands all over you."

Alex realises belatedly that he's started yelling.

Voice shaking.

Heavy with all the things he's had to pretend weren't bothering him.

_"Well?_ Why should I believe you-"

"Because _I love you_ and I know that you're the one- that there's no- that no one is better than you-" Nick blurts out, Alex's eyes widen, "so- so I know that-," he laughs bitterly.

_"Nick-"_

"So-" Nick is shaking too, "so I know that I would never throw this thing with you away."

"Nick," Alex bites his lip. "I can't do this-" he admits, "I can't do this hiding-this-from-everyone thing," Nick's head hangs at that, "because _I love you_ and I don't want to ever have to worry about other people putting their hands on you," he says simply.

Nick's head darts up so quickly Alex would be probably concerned for his neck.

But.

He can't quite verbalise that concern right now.

Not when Nick looks _floored._

"You-" he sounds ruined. "You-"

"Yeah, I do," Alex smiles a little, guessing at Nick's question.

"I also- I, _fuck_, you know that I-"

"Yeah," Alex's smile softens, "yeah I heard you the first time."

"I don't want anyone to- to- I don't want to ever think about anyone else putting their hands on you either," he whispers.

Alex chances a step forward.

Nick meets him halfway.

The dance of the inevitable.

"So what are we going to do?"


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's been a hectic few days but I'm glad to finally finish this in a fashion that i think is OKAY.

"So, Nick," Sascha is grinning, "my friend just broke up with her boyfriend, I mentioned you were single and she's interested in meeting you," he waggles his eyebrows.

Stefanos is also smirking at Nick. 

Alex, caught in the middle of this exchange, bites his lip.

He glances quickly at Nick before lowering his gaze to his shoes.

Nick looks relaxed though.

Alex doesn't feel worried. 

Not in the slightest.

Not anymore. 

"Sorry, I'm not interested," Nick shrugs, easy smile on his face.

Alex bites back his grin.

"She's really nice and she's super cute," Sascha insists, brow furrowed, "I mean I can show you-"

"Nah, man," Nick interrupts him and shifts slightly closer to Alex on the bench, "I'm good."

_Final._

Leaving little room for disagreement. 

Stefanos is watching them carefully.

A silent half-formed question in his eyes.

Alex, keeps his own eyes trained on his sneakers and the tiny smudge of dirt on his shoelaces.

Alex doesn't look up once.

Lest his expression give anything away.

Anything _more_ away, that is.

Sascha's frown deepens.

But.

Then.

"Okay then," a curious smile tickles at the edges of his mouth, he raises his hands, "I'll let her know that-" his lips curve, "-that you're not interested."

"Cool, you do that," Nick smiles back. Lazy and relaxed.

Alex is biting the insides of his cheek so hard he thinks he might draw blood.

The whole left side of his leg is pressed against Nick's.

The hairs on the back of his neck are standing up and Alex has never felt more alive. 

Stefanos is still watching them. Eyes darting curiously between Alex and Nick.

He's smiling too though.

-

"Are you sure?" Alex asks for the third time.

"Yeah," Nick shrugs.

Only-

Nick is fiddling with the cuff of his hoodie and his left foot is tapping slightly under the table.

He's nervous.

Alex can tell.

He wishes he could just-

Just press his face into Nick's neck and press a comforting kiss into his throat.

He eyes the distance from their table to the doors of the restaurant. They could probably make a run for it if they had to.

Well.

Alex definitely could.

Nick has been skimping on cardio lately so...

"If you've changed your mind, that's fine," Alex says carefully, "we can always reschedule, I'm sure they won't mind."

His mum will definitely murder Nick in cold blood if Alex tells her they're rescheduling. He's not exactly going to _say_ that to Nick though.

Not when he already looks _this close_ to shitting himself.

Nick gives him a Look like he can tell Alex is lying baldly to his face.

"No it's just-" he runs a hand through his hair nervously, mussing up his carefully styled hair in the process.

It shouldn't make Alex smile-

That Nick is so nervous about this that he's unconsciously ruining his hair

-But.

Well.

It does.

Alex is only human. Nick is so _cool_ only he's also charming and nervous and sweet and Alex now knows that he's just as frightfully invested in this thing of theirs as Alex is.

Alex is in so embarrassingly deep and there's really no coming back from this. 

_Matchpoint_ and Alex has steady hands and the sound of his heartbeat in his ears.

And.

Well.

And Alex has Nick right there with him. 

Alex squeezes his other hand comfortingly. Nick smiles a little. "I just- I guess I'm just a little nervous."

"You don't say," Alex murmurs wryly.

Nick chuckles softly to himself.

"It's going to be okay, we're going to be okay," he insists.

Nick swallows and nods.

He doesn't look convinced though.

That said.

He hasn't made a run for it either.

That has to count for something.

It makes something warm unfurl in Alex's chest.

_Yeah_.

Nick is still here.

Even though he's scared-

There's a commotion.

Alex looks up and spots his parents weaving around tables to make their way to where they are.

Alex looks over at Nick and offers him, what he hopes is, a reassuring smile. Nick smiles faintly. 

The whispery smokey tendril of a smile. 

Alex wants to press his lips to Nick's and chase the taste of it on his tongue. 

To see if it tastes like it looks.

Like cedar and smoke and instant coffee spilt on the kitchen bench and holding hands in dark rooms and _promises._

Instead.

He stands up to hug his mum and dad when they finally reach them.

"Nicholas," his mum says coolly as she extends a hand.

She's met Nick at least ten times in the past.

She's never once referred to him as _Nicholas_ before.

Nick jolts and hurries to shake her hand and kiss her on the cheek.

Alex frowns a little but rolls his eyes when she winks at Alex from over Nick's shoulder.

He sighs to himself.

His dad smothers a snort with a cough.

They settle down, sinking into the chairs scattered around the table.

Nick pours his mum a glass of water.

She's selected the seat right next to him even though the seat next to Alex was also free.

His dad winks a little though from her other side so Alex doesn't say anything. Alex lets out a relieved sigh when his dad breaks the ice to says hello to Nick and then proceeds to ask how training is going.

Nick nods and earnestly tells him about his new training regime.

He's about to ask his parents if they found the restaurant okay but then he registers the sound of footsteps. Alex looks up in time to see Nick's parents making their way over to the table as well.

He smiles a little shyly over at them. Nick's father smiles encouragingly.

Nick's mum extends a hand, "Alex," she says coolly but there's a little twinkle in her eyes.

Alex stands up quickly to greet her.

Not before-

Not before he catches a glimpse of his own mother's little delighted laugh as she pats Nick's arm familiarly in his periphery.

Nick laughs a little too, a soft and rumbly thing, and visibly relaxes. 

_Yeah_.

Alex thinks they're going to be okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading !! 
> 
> haven't decided what's next for these two but one thing i DO know is that there will indeed be more


End file.
